The Swing Saga (Now with more shoe)

We had an experience today and as we were laughing about it, Clint said "I bet you can blog about that!" and he is right. I can, because it is funny, to me anyway.

So, let's start from the beginning. It all started with a swing. I am a cheap person, um frugal that sounds better. I don't like to pay for NEW stuff, but I am happy to pay less than half for "new to me" stuff. I wanted a swing for little Hudson and while I was browsing the baby resale shop in town I found one. The best part, it didn't need batteries! It could plug in to the wall. Anyone who is a parent knows that you can spend your LIFE SAVINGS on batteries for swings when your little one is small. I was excited. YAY! It was a neat swing, it rocked two ways and had a glider option plus music and all the bells and whistles. I was clicking my Tevaed heels (another story) together over my impressive find. I ran home to see how much I had saved on buying used (one of my favorite activities).

I googled... nothing. HMMM what is this thing called?? I went to the Fisher Price website. Not there. Weird. It looked brand spanky new. I finally found the swing on Amazon and I had saved about $90 buying the swing used but this wasn't the issue. This swing had one star. It might have had -1 if they allowed that on Amazon. The reviews were atrocious! They said things like "My baby weighs 6 lbs and this hardly moves him" and "I used this once and the glider broke" and it went on and on. DOH! Face to palm... plug in swing... reviews. were. right. This thing barely MOVED and, yes, as a matter of fact the glider WAS broken. Called store, "Sorry no refund, all sales final" my response "Well you should sell things that work." (I will no longer buy electronics there either).

On a wing and a prayer I called Fisher Price and long story short, they knew this swing had serious issues and offered me a full refund plus the cost of shipping them back a piece of the swing. HOORAY! They wanted the seat part back which was a bear to take apart and get in a box but I managed.

Fast forward 6 weeks... hope you are still reading because this is where it gets funny. Today we check the mail and there is the check, as promised. YAY! but we also got a box. Husband's standard response, "What did you buy?" my response "I have no clue". The box is from fisher price... strange. So I grab a pair of scissors and pop it open thinking they must have sent me some kind of "We're sorry" present. As we are opening the box we realize, it is a shoe (Hubby - You ordered a shoe from Fisher Price?) then we realized, it was MY shoe! Apparently my sweet little son snuck one of my shoes in to the box after I packed it but before I taped it shut. I can only imagine the look on the face of the person who opened that one up! Luckily they were nice enough to send me the shoe back, it is one of my nice pairs of heels!

That is all.

Tales from Mommyland Part 2... There's a turd in the tub

Warning - the following story is graphic in nature, those with tender tummies should not read further.

It is amazing how a simple word uttered by a (almost) 2 year old can strike fear into the hearts of men...

Bath time. It is a time of peace. It is a time of quiet. It is a time when the baby is confined to the tub and Mommy can spend 15 minutes alone. We had ice cream after dinner tonight and Denton decided to eat it like a puppy dog. Afterwards he looked like a mutt with rabies so we needed a bath. I put him in there with his toys and turned the water sprinkler star on and retired to my crater on the couch to relax. The bathroom is directly off the living room and we can see Denton in the tub so don't call CPS or anything.

I was working away on a Pampered Chef party and I heard it... A small little voice, echoing off the tile walls of the shower... "Poo poo.... poo poo.... poo poo...." Clint and I looked at each other, eyes wide. "Did you hear that? Did he say... poo poo?" We ran to the tub to see what was the matter and there it was, floating right behind him like a tiny turd of doom. I grabbed the turd covered baby and ran to the master bathroom, leaving the toilet water tub to the hubby!!!

This is my first experience with a turd in the tub. I know that is surprising considering I have two children. My sweet, little, precious girl child never pooed in the tub. Denton has tried a couple of times but I have thwarted those attempts. I can say that I didn't love the experience. It was kind of gross, and a little bit funny...

Never a dull moment!

That is all.

Signs that I am getting old...

I'm not saying I am old. I may not even be old. I may just be pregnant!

Here is a story that may or may not prove that I am getting old.

The other night I had the pleasure of celebrating my friend Nicole's 29th birthday, which is just crazy, I mean some one as young as me being friends with a 29 year old! So anyways, she had her party at a, um well, youngish person type restaurant on Oak Lawn. Unlike my regular trips to Ryan's Buffet, mine was surprisingly the ONLY minivan in the parking lot! I was immediately feeling like I "belonged" here. So, I waddled up to the door and inside there were a lot of very pretty people, I honestly don't think there was a single person in the place over 30 years old.

So the party started at 8, which is two hours after my regular dinner time and 1 hour before my bed time. We sit down, at a table, the lighting is so dim I can barely see the person next to me and the music is so loud I can't hear them either. I mean really... why do you play techno music at volume 4 million in a restaurant. Are we eating or dancing on tables? Isn't dinner for conversation?

So after an hour we finally start ordering and about an hour later here is my food! Hooray... it is now 10 o'clock. The fetus inside of me has begun snacking on my kidneys at this point. My water glass has been empty for 20 minutes. I am not nearly as excited about sushi as I was when I got here. I did manage to eat it. I did manage to not go deaf. I did find that the bathroom was more my style. It was quiet and they were playing the kind of music that you generally hear while getting a massage. It was nice to get to relax on my many trips to the restroom.

I got home around midnight. I had heartburn until 5 the next day.

I did love seeing Nicole and celebrating with her, don't get me wrong, but I fear that the hip sushi scene may not be my style anymore.

That is all.

Tales from Mommyland...

Sometimes I wish I was making things up!

On Wednesday I needed to do a little coupon shop at Walgreens and a run to the library for books that were due. I got to Walgreens, of course they were out of the razors I wanted to buy, but the order had just come in. We waited a few minutes while the lady found them in the boxes. Then I browsed a few other things and went to the checkout. Denton was shining a flash light in his eyes the entire time and laughing his tiny, diapered butt off. Reghanne was begging for candy (this was strange because she NEVER does that?). I got to the register with my awesome razor and M&M deal only to find that my wallet was at home, why not?? Denton is freaking because he wants the flashlight but distracts himself by bringing a 2 liter orange soda over to the checkout counter. So we undo it all and head to the car, to find that the door of the van has been standing open the entire 20 minutes we were in the store. AWESOME! Reghanne says to me "It's not like we have anything good in here". I reply "Um, they could steal the CAR" and she said "Um hello they don't have a key!" Argh.

We are just about to pull out and I realize, Denton's paci is in the basket inside the store. So I run back in and the lady says "Maybe you should just take the kids home for a nap and start over".... Wow, helpful. I did get the wallet and come back for my purchases. Yeah almost free razors, I am sure this will come in handy in HAWAII! (sorry)

So today, I am sitting here just doing my thing and Denton is quietly walking around with a little soft baby hair brush "scrubbing" everything (he is obsessed with cleaning things these days) He scrubs Daddy's chair, and his toy ride on train, and the floor, and the coffee table, and both window sills, and then he comes over to scrub my glass side table and I notice that he isn't just "scrubbing", there is definitely something on this brush. So I take it away and he holds up two shiny hands and I say "Denton, what did you do???" and he runs to his room holding his hands up in a baby shrug saying "Do? Do? Do?".... In the room I find an open jar of Vaseline, a now empty jar of Vaseline. And on everything he "scrubbed" a glob of Vaseline. At least that stuff cleans up easy!

That is all.

Cookin' Stuff Tuesday - Crepe - tastic!

I am about to go all french on you so WATCH OUT!!! I have seen crepes made on TV about a billion times. They make crepes on Chopped all the time because it is "simple". I am just going to tell you that it has never seemed simple to me.

So, the other day I was just reading random links that I rabbit hole in to whilst surfing the net to avoid doing my homework and I found a recipe for "Crazy Crepes"... me thinks I may give this a try some day. So I left the link open at the top of my screen (along with about 20 other links, I am notorious for this!)

Well, today after my doctor's appointment (baby no name is doing great btw) and during Denton's nap, I decided to give crepe making a whirl because obviously this is just something you would do on a whim, right?

Here is the recipe for those interested, it is SO simple!

Ingredients

• Crepes
• 1/2 cup fat-free milk
• 1 large egg
• 2 teaspoon cooking oil
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• Directions

  1. In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, egg and oil; slowly whisk in flour, beating until well combined.

  2. Coat a 6-inch skilled with nonstick cooking spray. Heat over medium heat; remove from heat. Spoon 2 tablespoons batter into skillet, tilting skillet to spread batter evenly. Return to heat; brown on one side (1 to 2 minutes) flip and cook a few more seconds.

  
  

  Man I wish I could figure out a way to post pictures. The first crepe was an epic fail. I sprayed way to much olive oil in the pan

  and the pan was really pretty crappy as well. So I switched to a big ole' pan and just didn't spread it to the edges. I made EIGHT batches of this which made around 40 -45 crepes. It took about two hours ( I know right! ) Spooning and tilting and turning and spooning and tilting and flipping. Then I stacked them with wax paper in between and put them in a ziploc bag in the freezer. From what I read, you can just pop a couple out and defrost for a quick dessert, breakfast, or dinner.

  
  

  We did go ahead and eat some. The kids had snacks with cream cheese and pb & j and they were a HIT! Girl kid wanted them for dinner so I filled them with chicken and broccoli and covered them with a lemon alfredo sauce. They were amazing and I am having a hard time not going in there to eat more but I am trying to save some for the hubs.

  
  

  Well, I was busy today so that was all the cookin' I got done!

  ENJOY!

  
  

  That is all.

The Beginnings of a "Frugal Gourmet"

I remember when I was a little kid we didn't have cable (I know right? How did I live??) so on weekends I would watch KERA cooking shows. Yan Can Cook, Julia Child and my favorite, The Frugal Gourmet. These people amazed me with their cooking but the frugal Gourmet was even more so incredible because I did not have the foggiest idea what the world "frugal" meant. I remember looking it up in the dictionary and thinking "This is for me!" I was just a kid but my mom was single and I did a lot of the cooking so I thought if I could save her money it would be awesome.

This started an interesting trend of me creating recipes from whatever was laying around the kitchen. My mom had a few cookbooks so those usually helped with techniques and inspiration but we NEVER had all of the things required.

I was certainly not the best "chef" at 10. I remember once I decided I would make my mom a meatloaf. I was really excited. I had my Mom's recipe in hand and I was ready to amaze her. I slaved away for hours making dinner just right and when she got home she was really surprised! The surprises didn't end there though, when we took our first bite of this amazing meal I had lovingly prepared we were very surprised to learn that, in my excitement, I had forgotten to actually put any seasonings in the meatloaf. It was pretty much as the name describes, a loaf of meat. Thank GOD for ketchup!

I was just thinking about this story. My mom loves to tell it and it always makes her laugh. By the way, I make a much better meatloaf these days!

That is all.

Heather

My body is a rock hard example of athleticism...

is what I would be saying if sitting on your butt and eating ice cream were considered exercise. I could probably even be an Olympian in this sport. Sadly, butt sitting isn't an Olympic sport... yet. I did some preggo Pilates this morning and I am pretty sure that lady was trying to kill me. I just did the hips and thighs series because I have 4 weeks left until i hit Hawaii and if nothing else, at least I can try to have some nice legs.

It is a pregnancy focused video so I was really hoping to see some fellow shamu types rolling around on the floor, huffing and puffing, and sweating. There was none of that in this video. It was one lady who was noticeably pregnant but there was no rolling, huffing, puffing or sweating. She was workin' it like it was her job and I was the one rolling etc. There is a muscle that people are supposed to have in their butts which I apparently do not possess. Just a few minutes in and there was a fire raging in my glut region and she had barely started! I am going to keep at it, but I certainly hope it gets easier!

Cookin' stuff Tuesday didn't happen. It was more like Doin' Stuff Tuesday. We are still working through our double car explosion of last week so I had to run all my errands yesterday morning while the hubs was around. The good news is, the van is getting fixed for half the original quoted price... thumbs up and thanks to Anglen Automotive, you guys saved us! I did make 4 batches of sausage gravy this morning but that is not really something I would think about posting a recipe for, unless someone needed it, then I'm always happy to help.

Two notable points for the week, I started selling Pampered Chef. I hope it works out! I am hoping it is a way for me to share my love of cooking and earn a little money for my dear and wonderful family. Secondly, Denton is really growing up fast!

He is transitioning to a big boy room and he has started playing like a big kid. He stacks blocks instead of throwing them and the other day he said "yellow" out of the blue. He has started saying so many words, I am amazed all the time. His new favorite thing is grabbing your hand and telling you to "COME ON!". His favorite words are still "MINE" and "NO" but we are working on it. He also finger painted for the first time yesterday which was very fun. He has also developed a huge love of all things "Dodo" (Dora) although Clint wishes he liked Diego instead. He even says "Oh man" it is really cute but I will stop gushing now !

On the baby naming front, we THINK we may have a winner. We are currently test driving Noah. We will see if it sticks!

That is all.