Monday, March 11, 2013

I am a Mama...

I am a Mama.
I grow and I stretch.
I endure pain and torture.
For three months, I wretch.

When it is over, if I am lucky,
I count tiny fingers and call you my Monkey.

I am a Mama.
I hold tiny hands.
I comfort big tears.
I explore foreign lands.

Your imagination astounds me.
And if I am lucky,
I will watch you grow up, but you'll still be my Monkey.

I am a Mama.
I try to protect you,
from fears and from dangers.
I won't let anything get you!

I will work until it hurts,
I will stand and not bend.
I will do what it takes,
To meet all the ends.

This title wasn't just given,
It was earned,
Every letter.
I am YOUR Mama,
I pray you never wish for better.

God trusted me,
a sinner, no saint.
But, each day he gives me,
the courage, the strength.

I am a Mama,
but my hope rests in my Father.
I will give all I have,
for my sons and my daughter.


Tuesday, February 26, 2013

This is not fake.

So, I read this blog yesterday. I read a lot of blogs, I don't know. Anyways, this particular blog was how we should all stop lying on Facebook. Stop pretending our kids are adorable little angels. Start being "real" about our life. For me, this is real.
We really eat with our feet here.



I am a real person. I really have crappy days. I don't really see why I need to whine in my Facebook status about my crappy day. Who needs to know? How is whining in a very public forum going to fix my crappy day? What GOOD does it do?

If I am having a crappy day, I feel like I am going to "really" do one of two things: Say nothing. or Try to make it better. Try to focus on the positive. How is that fake?

I do not post pictures of Michael, screaming at my feet, pushing me away from the stove with snot pouring out of his face. I don't post pictures of Reghanne's latest math meltdown, or Denton falling to pieces because he can't have lemonade. I post cute pictures of my kids because other peoples cute pictures of their kids, sometimes cheer me up. Who wants to see a snotty nosed baby that isn't theirs? And, to be honest and real real selfish, I post pictures of my kids because when someone comments on them, or I am just browsing old pics out of boredom, it brings memories pouring back into my head. Things I have forgotten, times I don't remember. I always walk away with a smile on my face.
We really love ice cream.

At church the other day, we heard a great sermon about "Getting our shine on!" and how when you shine, it brings GLORY to God! I don't think posting every little bad thing or minute detail of your terrible day or every rant and rave you ever think about, real or not, is going to bring one ounce of glory to your Heavenly Father. If I was a better church goer, I would have written down ALL of the verses he gave about being the salt, being the light, letting people smack both of your cheeks and steal all your clothes, and not complaining, but I didn't. So... just know he said that stuff mm kay.

I am BLESSED to be this stressed. My worst day home with my kids, is better than my best day away from them. That is real. My husband makes me laugh, when all I want to do is cry because I had a bad day. That is real. My friends find ways to lift me up, even when they have no clue that I am down. That, my friends, is real. Bitching and moaning is not the kind of REAL I want to be. I want to be REAL positive, REAL happy, and REALLY focused on God.

I am not saying I will never say another bad thing on Facebook, but for me, my goal is to avoid it. Just sayin'.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Nothing is Forever

Hello friends, it has been a long time since I have written. This is not due to lack of material, my children are constantly giving me great topics. I have a real lack of time mostly, my growing family keeps me busy.

I have been thinking lately about forever. I have had many instances with my children where I have though "Oh my GOSH! They are never going to stop (whatever it is)!!!" Denton was a major nursing lover. I mean, he loved his time at the tap. I thought to myself, "He is going to nurse until he is 40!" Then, one day, he stopped. He just STOPPED and never nursed again. He also was a beast to potty train. We fought, and struggled and I gave up about 10 times. Then, one day, he just stopped fighting (mostly). Same thing with co-sleeping.
Brothers!

All of these things, at the time, felt like insurmountable challenges that would never end. Now, here I am, in the thick of things with another little boy. If I ever thought Denton was headstrong and stubborn, Michael is ALL of that and then some. At almost 15 months old, he is still nursing 6 times a day and every two hours at night. He refuses to sleep anywhere but my bed, no matter how "comfy" I make it in an attempt to trick him. It is hard to get angry though, because I look at Denton, and remember, one day he won't need me as much. I look at Reghanne and know, one day he probably won't even want my help.

A moment of sweetness
I think I can apply this lesson to any facet of my life. Those bills aren't going to be there forever. The laundry from all these little people, will eventually disappear. The stress I feel today about whatever it is, is fleeting. Nothing is really forever in this life. Each season will pass like breath, and we find ourselves in a different challenge. Sometimes it is harder, sometimes it is not, but it will be different. All I can do, is continue forward, not wishing for the current challenge to be over, but enjoying the moment that I am in today. Those midnight cuddles, sibling struggles, and potty battles are going to turn into grown ups one day. I must relish even the difficult times!
A vision of the future