Scarlett's Birth Story

I have really been putting off writing this birth story. It has almost been two weeks now, and somehow, that seems like a lifetime. I almost can't imagine life without her, and I almost can't imagine going through the labor. How does that happen? How does something that is so very, very real and so very, very memorable turn into something that you almost can't believe you did in just two short weeks?

I had been having some prodromal labor for a couple of weeks. I had even had about 9 hours of continuous contractions on this rare and random March day that was filled with ice and sleet. I am glad she didn't come then. I was worried about my midwives driving in that weather. So, on March 11, we went for our 40 week appointment. That morning I ran errands, returned a faucet, bought chickens and dog food, and headed to see Roxanne. I told Roxanne that I was done sitting around waiting to go in to labor, it would happen and I had too much to do. She checked me and said I was about a 2 and had effaced some, so it was sure to happen at some point and all those contractions I had been having were not for nothing.

I went home that afternoon and hung out with the big kids outside. It was such a beautiful day! I had a book club meeting that night, so I made an early dinner for the Daddy and big kids and we ate. Just about the time I was supposed to leave for my meeting, I felt exhausted and not great. I had been feeling really great all day, but this feeling was just overwhelming and I decided to stay home and go to bed early.

I sat up in bed around 1 AM trying to figure out what had woken me. A few minutes later, I got my answer... ouch! Immediately I thought, "Great... another night of contractions. I am never going to get any sleep." So, I laid back down and tried to just go back to sleep. Then another contraction, laying down was not cutting it... this actually hurt pretty bad. I was really having to breathe through them. I wrote down the first contraction at 1:24 and got out of bed to try to let Clint sleep. No reason to make everyone suffer. I went to the living room and sat on the birth ball. They were coming roughly every 10 or so minutes and they were not pulling any punches. I was hurting. Sitting in the dark, just wondering if I should wake someone up. I kept making deals with myself, "Okay, if it goes on for an hour, I will wake him." "If they get closer together, I will wake him." I was excited though because I thought it was the 13th. The 13th is "our lucky day". We like everything to be on the 13th for easy remembering. I looked at my phone and realized it was the 12th, I decided I was fine with the 12th because I certainly didn't want to be in labor for 24 hours! ha ha ha (warning: foreshadowing)  I decided to walk, because that had actually stopped them on that icy night before.The walking actually made them get to about 4 minutes apart, so I sat down again. After every contraction, I had to use the restroom. I was so tired, and really lonely. Sitting in the dark, breathing through these contractions. I went to the laundry room and watched our new little day old chicks, sleeping and snuggled under their infrared bulb. That was actually kind of calming and warm. I decided as long as they were somewhat far apart, I'd let everyone sleep.

Around 4 ish, I decided to try to lie down again. They were still pretty regular, but I knew if I was going to labor that day, I needed some rest. I laid down and almost sort of slept for about 30 minutes before I was hit with another hard contraction. At 5, Clint's alarm went off. THANK GOODNESS! I had been waiting for hours to have someone to commiserate with me! I told him, I don't think you can go to work today, I might be in labor, I have been up since 1:30 am. He was not really thrilled that I hadn't told him. He asked me how close they were and I said ten minutes, but he thought I said two! I think he said something like "Heather NICOLE!" and I was like, "NO, NO TEN minutes!" ha... He said "Is it the 13th?" I told him I'd had that thought too, but it was the 12th, which was fine with me. He joked that maybe she wouldn't be born until the 13th and I let him know, I didn't think that was cute.

At his insistence, I called Roxanne, I let her know what was up and Clint went and made me coffee and breakfast: bacon, eggs, grits... YUM! I also called Mom and her and Roxanne both said they'd get ready and head over. They came and we sat around and chatted. I walked, the kids got up. They were happy to see Ms. Roxanne was there and knew what that meant! Finally, baby sister day!

I was anxious and tired of just walking in circles, so I made Roxanne and my Mom some breakfast. It was a really nice distraction, and it kept me moving. The more I moved, the closer they got, and I was tired. I kept resting on the birth ball or a chair off and on. Clint told me the more I moved, the faster she'd come. I just really wanted to lie down!! But it was no use, it hurt too much. At some point, I had Roxanne check me to make sure it was really labor. I was a 5 and 80% so that made me feel better. (some of this is foggy, I probably should of written this sooner). My Mom asked me to help her plan our dinner menu, as we all figured I would have Scarlett and we'd have dinner. Cue the fireworks and happy smiles. The end! ha ha ha

We decided on meatloaf, mashed potatoes, roasted veggies, and the kids and my mom baked a strawberry birthday cake, complete with HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCARLETT 3/12/14. ha ha ha

Here is where it gets jumbly. I will have the hubby provide some edits after he has read it. I took a shower, which really helped, but eventually the hot water runs out. I got checked again. I was an 8 and fully effaced. That was so great to hear on my part, at an 8 with Michael, I was holding him within the hour. I figured we were on the downward slope at this point. I think the intern midwives came while I was in the shower. I remember telling Clint that everyone wasn't even here yet and he said "Yeah they are, they are all four here, in the living room." Dinner time came... and went... I felt yucky, and hungry, and bad... so, I just ate a small plate to fight starvation and keep my strength, but not too much, I didn't want to be sick. We were all in my room, watching old sitcoms: Sanford and Sons, All in the Family, etc. I was laughing between contractions. Those shows always entertain me, I just love them! I kept feeling like I was SO CLOSE, almost to transition. I'd get uncontrollable shakes and then nothing would happen. The contractions would even sort of stop. Then they would come really fast and hard again. I remember sitting on the toilet through some, that helped. I started getting upset and frustrated. She checked me and said I was really close. I just needed to relax. It was hard though, I was frustrated and so dead, dog tired! I had never been so tired. I started to get scared that something was wrong. I was scared that I wouldn't have the strength to finish.

I decided on a shower. That would help me relax. So, I got in. Clint paced. Roxanne had told me to try squatting and bearing down through some contractions to finish dilation, so I did that...

When I got out I felt sort of renewed! My contractions kind of stopped. I sat down in a chair in my towel. She suggested I eat... I had an apple and sent to Clint to get a cheese stick. When he returned and handed it to me, I just burst in to tears. I just couldn't do it. I felt like I was failing. It hurt. I was tired. In my head, I just wanted to go to the hospital or something. I don't really know. I knew I'd likely not make it to the hospital without having her, I just wanted to be anywhere else. Like the act of leaving this place would somehow alleviate the pain. I was a mess. Roxanne was right there, every second. Assuring me. Clint was there. I just couldn't do it! Clint told me to get up and move some more, that it would get her there. I just couldn't!! The 12th came and went... it really was the 13th... Clint prayed with me, that God would help me and we'd finish and we'd be healthy and everything would be safe. Roxanne gave me some witches brew to cure all ails.

I calmed down, and stood up and here they came again. Harder and faster than ever. The other midwives came in and I knew I was in transition because I sounded like some sort of cross between a wild animal and the exorcist. I kept asking if it was time to push, it wasn't. This went on for awhile. Hard contractions. Me asking if it was time to push. Me telling Clint mean stuff, weird stuff, in whispers. I don't want to divulge too much here. I said I was tired and laid down on my pillows. I almost fell asleep. I told Clint I was going to pass out, like asleep... he thought I meant pass out for real. The next contraction hit and I said OHHHH NO SHE IS COMING OUT OR SOMETHING! and I jumped up really fast. It was FINALLY time to push... and it hurt. So, I kept standing up like I was going to run away or something. I would have, if I could have, if it would help at all. They kept telling me to press down into the contractions, I think I kept telling them no because that hurt. I asked them why I didn't do "shit the normal way, in the hospital with drugs!!!" (haha just kidding, I didn't really want that... well...) My water broke. Then I felt her little head!

They told me she had a lot of hair. Then, they said to stop pushing... fine by me! Her hand was by her head! There is the problem. She had to be re-situated some. She wasn't even completely born and she started to cry! Then finally, she was here! 1:34 AM... almost exactly 24 hours after my first contraction. So pink and beautiful.

See how pink! She matches the towel!

 I collapsed on the bed. My mom and Reghanne came in. The midwife team was in high gear. But I was in slow motion. Eventually, I sat up on the bed. She nursed. Clint woke the boys up and brought them in one at a time. Denton was sleepy and happy to see his sister. Michael never managed to get his eyes open! Poor guy! Then they checked her all out. She was perfect, of course! Some wonderful person ran us a nice warm bath and Scarlett and I got in and floated around a bit while we talked to Daddy in the dark. It was so relaxing and wonderful!

I got out, and my bed was made! The laundry was started. No sign that a baby had just been born here. Roxanne gave me the rundown of do's and don'ts... then they quietly slipped out and we all went to sleep. You can't beat a home birth!!! And you can't beat Roxanne, Clavel, Laurie, and Jeanne. You really can't... they are the best group of ladies ever and I couldn't have done any part of any of that without them. They loved on my hubby, my kiddos, and my Mom too. They treated us all like family, and we are so very grateful they were with us on this big day!

I have pictures to add... someday when I find my camera cord thing.

Part Two of the Birth and a Qualifier

Ok, where was I... So we went home around 10, and left the kids at my Mom's house for the night. The nurse at the hospital had declared me 3 cm and told me she figured they would see me back that night. But "people like me" usually like to labor at home as long as possible. (People like me being those looking for natural births). It didn't really matter when I went, the doctor I had fallen in love with as out all week for her boards, so there was NO chance she would be delivering my baby unless I managed to stay pregnant until Friday! (no thanks)

I had contractions all night but they were manageable. I could sleep for about an hour or so at a time. I got up around 1:30 and went back to bed about 4:00. I was in some pain but just relaxing helped me a lot. The contractions were about 15 minutes apart all night, give or take. Over the last few months I have been working in the ECCHO nursery with two great ladies who know TONS about birth and so when I got up on Tuesday, I contacted them and they stayed in close contact with me through out the day helping me along. Jessica suggested I get some breakfast and try to rest as long as possible. Maybe take a bath and see if I could doze a little there. So, I got up and made some toast and made Clint an omelet and then went and hopped in the tub.

I have always heard how great the tub is during labor. My friend Julie described it as a liquid epidural (something like that) just the other day. For me, the tub was AWFUL!!!! I have never experienced "back labor" but I definetely had it this time. The minute I sat in the tub the contractions got stronger. I could barely recover from one when it seemed another was creeping up on me. I stayed in the tub for a little while and got out. Tried to rest and couldn't so Clint and I decided we would go for a walk to see if we could decrease the time between contractions. I put on my butt toning tennis shoes and we headed out. Our driveway is about a mile if you go down and back so I made that my goal.

When we got to the end, my grandfather saw us and came out to say hello and see how things were. As soon as I had started walking, the contractions went to 4 minutes apart. I didn't want him to worry so I chatted with him through two contractions. Clint could tell I was dying, apparently I am not a great actress! :) So, we headed back to the house and when I got in and sat down they went to about 6 minutes apart. I called Tara and she was encouraging me and telling me how I awesome I was doing. Jessica told me that the point of rest was over, I needed to change positions every 3 or 4 contractions to keep them rolling. I laid on one side and then the other while we watched a couple of movies.

I was really starting to get uncomfortable. Both Tara and Jessica thought it as time to go. I was nervous, I didn't want to get there and find out nothing had changed or have them stop again. We decided e would go and when I got up to get my shoes on etc the contractions were rapid fire. I couldn't complete any task without having to breathe through one. I had been marking them on a paper all day and it was to the point where all I could say was "another one" and Clint was writing them down like crazy. He said "Now it's getting serious" and we hopped in the car to head to Mansfield. The drive was interesting. We got behind a TXDOT truck on the back roads to Midlothian and he was not afraid to drive 20 MPH! Clint tried to get around him by going a different direction. Then when we got to the main road it was school dismissal so we were behind every bus, through every school zone and at every red light between our house and the hospital. I thought we would NEVER get there.

We arrived at the same time as Tara. After Monday night, I knew I needed someone there with experience or I would not make it. This junk hurt and it would be all to easy to give in to pain meds. Tara was kind enough to give up time with her family and call in to work to be there for me. They took me to observation and checked me, said I was 7-8 cm and quickly got me in to a Labor and Delivery room. It was right around 3:30.

This is when we apparently started scaring the living hell out of nurses :) They called me a "trial of labor" because I was there for a VBAC. Apparently they have no hope for people like me. They made me get an IV port "just in case" things went South, told me I couldn't have any food, drinks, or even ice chips and then pretty much checked out. Tara snuck me some coconut water (rebel). And I sat down on the weeble wobble ball. The contractions continued but again, were totally manageable. Tara was pushing on my back during them which helped the back labor immensely. I am so cloudy about most of this, I think I might have to get her to write it all down for me!

The contractions were getting more difficult to breathe through and I was really starting to dread them. I just felt like the "finish line" was never going to come. Tara suggested I try something new so I put the back of the bed all the way up and kneeled there with my arms over the back of it. About that time my nurse came in and, with a very quizzical look, said "What are you doing???" I said "Trying something new." and that was about the last thing I said in a normal voice for the next 10 minutes or so.

The next contraction I felt "something". So I told her that and she checked me and said I was an 8. I was NOT HAPPY about that and vaquely remember rolling my eyes as the next contraction came. Suddenly, my Mom walked in the room, I asked her what she was doing there, told her I was in a really bad place, and another contraction came. This time, I was more clear and screamed "I FEEEL SOMETHING DIFFEREEENNTT!!!!!" Then all hell broke loose, pardon my french but that is the only way I can describe it. My nurse told me I needed to turn around and lay down. All I could hear was sneakers on tile running like mad. By the time I managed to turn around there were about 10 people looking at me. She checked me and said I was complete, the bed started moving. I felt like the chick from the exorcist. I wanted to run out of the room.

They told me the doctor was there and was going to get dressed. I asked "WHICH ONE??" because I didn't know what the doctor looked like (which is kind of comical). For the next few minutes I didn't open my eyes. I have NO CLUE what happened except that I was screaming like a maniac, ripping the skin off people's hands, and thinking that if I could get up and run I would... It couldn't have been very long. I have no CLUE how long I was like that... in between contractions I felt like I would just barely regain "consciousness" and it would all go crazy again.

I started to cry and say I didn't want this anymore. Someone said just reach down and touch your baby. I opened my eyes and looked and I could see his head, I felt his warm little noggin' and all the sudden, just knowing it was almost over, I knew I could do it and felt calm. Then he was born at 6:24 and I was amazed. I think at some point I was like "OMG there was a baby in there!" My mom asked, "What is his name?" I looked at him and said "Michael". (We still hadn't completely decided up to that point.)

He got a chance to nurse before they put him in the incubator to clean him up. Shortly after the big kids came and we all got to watch him get his bath while I ate the SWEET steak dinner the hospital brought me! (It had a bottled Coke so I was pretty darn happy!) I felt like a million bucks. The nurses couldn't believe I was walking around and carrying my two year old all over the delivery room. After a bit, we all walked down to the other room, baby Michael in tow!

What a blessing!!! When Denton as born, I barely saw his face before they whisked him away. It was only by God's grace that I even saw him the day he was born. This experience was SO much better and our family is absolutely blessed by this little baby boy.

We are also extremely blessed to have our new friend Tara. With out her, I never would have made it. She was really my rock and I will always remember her and be grateful to her for that! (Clint was ok too! :))

The qualifier. I described the birth as a "horror show" yesterday and I just wanted to kind of clear up what I meant with that...

I was in labor for 48 hours but they were relatively pleasant. The very end of the birth, I believe it is commonly referred to as transition, was very extreme and I was the horror show. I turned into the chick from the exorcist. I was a little scary.

The Birth of Michael Emmett

Michael Emmett is here! Finally, he is here. I feel like we have been waiting forever and also like it all happened so FAST!

I want to post about the birth but I am not 100% sure I can be objective about it right now. It was everything (well mostly) I wanted but when I get to the end, the only words I can come up with are "horror show". So, I'm not sure about telling about it in great detail. So to start, I am just going to write about the beginning.

Saturday night I started having contractions before bed. I had them ALL night and was getting pretty pumped but as soon as I got up Sunday they disappeared. Sunday night, they started up again and I was pretty annoyed. I had already missed a ton of sleep and didn't want to deal with another night like Saturday. The contractions lasted all night but were manageable. When I got up on Monday they didn't go away so I was happy. I tried to stay busy, I cleaned some, walked some, and the contractions stuck with me. In the afternoon I decided to take a nap before taking Reghanne to choir and when I got up the contractions started going crazy. They went from 15 minutes to 3-4 minutes apart so we left the kids with my mom and headed to the hopsital. We were so excited!

I had them ALL the way to the hospital, sat down on the bed ith the monitor and they stopped. Like, almost completely. NONE, ZIP, NADA. The nurse told me about how to determine "real" labor. I wanted to punch her. We came home and went to bed around 10 ish.

Suddenly I am exhausted... I guess reliving it is making me tired :) Plus I did just have a baby... I will write more tomorrow!

Praying for labor...

You are all really supportive. I am hearing from a lot of you everyday, "Have you had that baby yet?" It is nice to know that everyone is thinking of me and BBQ and my family. I just want to ask you to pray for labor. I know God has a perfect plan and that his timing is always right.

It really isn't so much about actually being pregnant for me anymore. I am fairly used to it and pain free. I walked half a mile yesterday and jumped over a four foot barb wire fence, I can still put my shoes on, I'm not disabled. I can still do basically every physical task (not as well, mind you) that other people will allow me to do.

The issue at this point is that they will only allow me to "go" so long. At my appointment yesterday my doc mentioned that she would be comfortable using "some pitocin" on me. If you don't know my history, I have had a c-section, labor inducing medication can be dangerous. I am beginning to wonder if another c-section is in my future. The recovery from which was VERY difficult for me last time and I can only assume would be even more difficult with a clingy two year old. It also would put the nail in the coffin of me every having a regular birth again, and I am not sure I could face a fourth pregnancy knowing full well I am set for a third c-section.

So please say a prayer for us today. Instead of laying in bed cuddling my new baby, I am going to go to co-op and cuddle other people's babies.

That is all.

Oh Heather, Where art thou?

I'm here. I am alive. I am PREGNANT! Which is not news because I have been pregnant forever. I think what I mean to say is that I am still pregnant.

Things have been CAAARRAAAZZZAAAYYY! My mom and I switched houses. So basically, we moved, one week before my due date, with two days notice. Everything is a mess but whatevs! The house is big and there is room for us all which is nice. We have a playroom again! YAYA!

The day we moved Denton seemed fine all day. We had been packing for two days and we had moved a couple of boxes in the van and none of that really bothered him. The movers came and things changed! When they started moving out the furniture it was like watching someone who was watching someone rob them. When they took the couch out he was reaching his hand out crying and screaming "NO, my chouch MY CHOUCH!!!" and then GASP! they picked up DADDY'S CHAIR, and the world pretty much ended. The little booger was traumatized. He even kinda freaked when we took the bean bag to our own car. He does love the new house (we all kinda do!). But he calls it Bubby's house still. Someday maybe he will realize it is his house and we aren't just hanging out!

I'll let you know if BBQ (baby question mark, for those of you who are uniformed) is ever born.

That is all.